


The Yagami Rite Of Passage

by Iggytheperson



Category: Digimon Adventure Zero Two | Digimon Adventure 02
Genre: bc daisuke x yagami siblings is a blessed thing, but mostly for myself, for the nobody that asked for this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-16
Updated: 2018-12-16
Packaged: 2019-09-20 00:43:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17012277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iggytheperson/pseuds/Iggytheperson
Summary: No matter how much of his life that he spends over at the Yagami household, Daisuke needs to complete this challenge if he wants to be recognized as an honorary member of the family. Or he could wait until he's an adult and marry one of them. But that would take too long, so he'll settle for trying to eat this burger.





	The Yagami Rite Of Passage

Daisuke was eight when he first felt the fires of hell.

He’d been sitting in a restaurant with the Yagami’s. Taichi, his neighbour and the local soccer star, who’d offered his little admirer an escape from having to go watch Jun’s theater audition, Taichi’s baby sister, a pretty girl with a pink dress and a hairclip with a white kitty on it, and Taichi’s dad, the coolest dad ever.

They’d been in the middle of a fun conversation about how evil the vice principal was when a question was posed by the cool dad.

“So, Hikari, is today the day you’re gonna become a real Yagami?”

Daisuke looked to the girl beside him with interest, curious to know what this strange thing was all about. The girl just groaned.

“Daaaad, come on! It’s bad enough I have to eat mommy’s cooking, I don’t wanna touch that thing you call food!”

Taichi gave her a light shove. “What’s the matter, you chicken?”

“I’m not scared! But that thing’s too big for my mouth! I’d die if I tried to eat it!”

“Oh come on, you’ve survived way worse than that. Admit it, you’re chicken.” Taichi continued to goad her and shake her back and forth.

“I’m not chicken!” Hikari whined loudly.

The dad gave her a pat on the back. “That’s the spirit! Waiter! We’ll take three Mouth Explosions!”

The poor girl, now slated for torture, groaned in despair. Daisuke peered up at the picture of this death burger on the menu. Yeah, that was definitely too big for her mouth. 

But the Yagami family rite of passage was not limited to a simple Mouth Explosion.

“Taichi! Go get the chips and doritos!”

“Aye aye, sir!” Taichi gave a salute and headed for the vending machine.

Soon enough, in front of the tiny prisoner sat a plate of what even Daisuke’s tiny mind could recognize as pure poison. He could barely comprehend what he was beholding.

The executioner gave his child a farewell pat on the head. “Now, normally we’d say you have to eat this in ten minutes. But...there’s actually no but. Just because you’re little doesn’t mean we’re going easy on you. Taichi did this at your age. Eat it in ten minutes or you fail.”

“But Taichi didn’t have friends so he didn’t know what real food tasted like!”

“Hey!”

“Alright Hikari, 10...9...8...7…” The dad even had a stopwatch with him.

Hikari could barely get her hands around the burger, if such a monstrosity could even be called such a thing. Taking a bite seemed like it would be a near impossible task. Daisuke got the feeling he was about to watch something very painful.

“3...2...1!”

Hikari took her first bite. The first phase was chewing. Daisuke watched her face morph into an almost painful look of disgust and discomfort as she valiantly worked to get the thing down.

The second phase was heartburn. Though Daisuke had no way of discerning the reason for Hikari’s clutching at her chest, he nonetheless felt very sorry for the tortured looking girl. He chose to spend a good deal of the next ten minutes trying to keep his eyes on Taichi, the trained veteran who ate his grease pile with relative ease.

Hikari collapsed onto the table in defeat when her father called out that time was up. She’d barely made it halfway. Taichi’s burger was already gone. He gave his sister a hearty pat on the back. “Walk it off, baby, heartburn is good for you.”

“I’m not a baby…”

“Well you didn’t win, so you’re not an official Yagami yet either.”

It was then that Daisuke made the worst mistake of his young life thus far. 

“If I ate it, would that make me a Yagami?”

The family stared, Hikari with horror and the two “Official” Yagami’s with horrid amusement.

“Well I suppose it would, little guy, but do you really think you could take it?”

“Of course I could!”

He couldn’t.

The siblings remarked that he looked like a Numemon, whatever that was suppose to mean, and he had stomach problems for an entire week.

This was the first of many attempts to get himself an official place in the Yagami clan, all of which would go terribly. Hikari did pass her test, though Daisuke hadn’t been there to see it, and she’s taken to joining Taichi in his tough-love style of motivation. It was the only time she ever really openly got mean. But Daisuke persevered with this challenge for years.

And so, when he and the rest of his team have a day out, and choose that oh so familiar restaurant for their lunch spot, he feels a weird cocktail of nostalgia and deep-rooted dread.

He isn’t the only one.

“So, Daisuke. I brought the stopwatch if you’re up to challenging yourself.” Hikari declares, loud enough for the whole group to hear.

“Uhm.” He doesn’t really want to get a lecture from Ken and Iori on why you shouldn’t eat the physical embodiment of a heart attack. And he also doesn’t wanna throw up.

“What’s the matter, you chicken?” she challenges. Oh fuck that.

“Hell no I’m not, order it!” He regrets the words the moment they leave his mouth, but he can’t back out now. The rest of the group stares with confusion and intrigue.

“Order what exactly?” Ken asks, already suspicious.

Hikari wears a grin befitting of an evil digimon. “The Mouth Explosion, which we will use as a template to create the Yagami family’s most important rite of passage. Speaking of which, Takeru, be a dear and go get some doritos and chips, ok?” 

Takeru, looking amused about this already, gets up right away to go get the necessary supplies.

“That...: _thing_ on the menu looks like it could kill me just from exposure...” Iori mutters, horrified at the prospect of this competition.

Hikari grin gets wider, if that’s even possible. “What we will be creating here today is no mere ‘double patty burger with chili, deep fried onions and enough bacon to make up a pig’s whole head’, my uninitiated comrades. This is not a true test until it has a thick layer of both chips and doritos, and at _least_ a two-millimeter thick layer of extra spicy hot sauce.”

In the time of this description, Ken has put his hands over his face and started desperately repeating the word ‘no’. Miyako is getting her phone at the ready.

“Waitress! I’d like to order two Mouth Explosions, please!”

Ken is still shaking his head in despair. “No, no no no no no no, Hikari, please, you’re going to kill him.”

“Oh please, he didn’t die when we did this at age 8 and he’ll be fine this time too.”

“Being not dead and being fine are two very different states of being, Hikari.”

Ken’s pleading for his jogress partner’s continued survival are fruitless, and soon Daisuke is being counted down to once again take on this ancient ritual. Takeru and Miyako are already recording. Ken can’t bear to watch.

Iori’s attention is more focused on the puddle of grease already formed on Daisuke’s plate, looking something like the swirling oil puddles that come out of leaky old cars in parking lots.

“3, 2, 1!”

Daisuke takes the biggest bite he can and starts working through phase one as quick as he can. Hikari leisurely takes up her own burger and starts on it.

Second phase hits. His breathing is already getting laboured.

“Come on you big wuss!” Hikari laughs, mouth full of toxin. “A little heartburn is good for you!”

“No, no it’s not!” Ken accidentally gets a look at what’s happening when he yells this. He looks about as nauseated as Daisuke feels.

Takeru nudges him, snickering. “Let’s hope your hearts aren’t still beating in time, or we’ll have to take both of you two the ER.” 

“Fuck you, I can totally do this!” Daisuke declares, grease dripping down his chin.

“Less talking, more chewing, Daisuke.” Hikari chides, snickering all the same.

Daisuke doesn’t respond with any more than another nod as he sinks his teeth into pure pain once more.

At seven minutes and forty-three seconds, Daisuke becomes a Yagami. He swallows his last bite and lets out a triumphant cheer, pumping his fist in the air with all the enthusiasm his body still has the strength to express. 

Ken opens his eyes at the sounds of clapping and high fives. He blinks in confusion. “Where’s the remaining...you actually ate it all!?”

“Hell yeah I did!” Daisuke cheers.

“That’s...somehow worse than if you’d not been able to stomach entirety of that ungodly thing.”

“Quit complaining about Daisuke’s victory, Ken. This is a day of celebration. Our leader has become a Yagami.”

“Does that mean he’s allowed to marry Hikari now so he can have the name?”

Hikari scoffs. “He can marry Taichi.”

“That’s fine by me!” Daisuke agrees.

Ken regards him with a look of horror and immense confusion. “Daisuke, you’re a wannabe chef, why on earth would you subject yourself to that?”

“...I dunno. I was eight, and I saw a little girl in a pink dress walking through the flames of hell and decided I’d try to follow in her footsteps.”

“That’s so poetic and also so stupid.”


End file.
